John and Julia
Having pondered a possible past-life experience with John, there are times, admittedly, when my mind has strayed to the idea of having been his beautiful mother Julia Lennon.. Fleeting and embarrassing in the outlandishness, this idea is squashed instantly by a huge NO via my logical and intuitive brain. Although anything is possible, and if you believe in reincarnation at all, the idea certainly isn't out of the question--however, it's a pretty damn stupid thought.
But let's talk about Julia. I feel she was unfairly cast as an unstable mother when in reality she was quite capable by many standards. While not going into the details culled from books and movies, Julia did want to care for him, but John went to live with Aunt Mimi and was reunited with her sometime before her death by a drunk off-duty police officer. Julia loved and wanted John to be her son--that is the truth. It was an unfair circumstance, and if the rumors which have painted her as a wild, loose woman are true, perhaps it is the judgement that caused her to act this way, not the reverse.. Sometimes we become that which the world sees us as, and when you are pushed to the fringe of society, you tend to become the fringe. The fact is, she wanted to be John's mother badly, but she wasn't allowed and that seems like a crime.
Recently I read an account by John's half-sister, Julia, describing his evening visits, and then his departures as Aunt Mimi wanted him back at a certain time. Mother Julia would sit by a record player morosely listening to a record called 'My Son John' afterwards. . She clearly wanted him, and was deeply hurt by the circumstances which took him away.
In my mind's eye I can see her sitting in a parlor room, back curved in defeat, staring at the spinning 45 through a mist of tears.
Paul McCartney did an interview recently descripting the reverse scene: John leaving Julia's house, and Paul being the observer on the walk back to Aunt Mimi's listing to John going on and on about how beautiful, smart and talented Julia was.
The love was mutual. And so was the pain. They had a sort of unrequited, fated love. And yes, I do think (via John) that he had an attraction to her, but only because their paternal bond had been interrupted. He loved her, and she him, but most of what they had was hope. When she died, that hope died too. I'm sure with everything in my soul that they were reunited the very second he left his body. I'm also sure she played a part in his fabulous success with The Beatles and as a solo artist.
For a moment picture if you will John and Julia in their happiest moments together: perhaps one strumming a ukulele and the other singing Elvis. For John, that would be Heaven on earth. And I'm sure Heaven has seen and heard them many singing and playing times.