• alainafeather444

I'm Only Sleeping



I think I'm beginning to understand why, after having already published 'Spirit in the Sky' months ago, John hints it wasn't finished. It's because every day I have a revelation. From things about his mother and Aunt Mimi, to his father, his career, Brian Epstein, etc., it never ends. He lived a short but packed life and has so much to say from the other side. So, I'll probably never be done writing about him (and I'm good with that).


The recent thing I've discovered is his sleeping habit, which many who knew him have spoken about. Apparently, John could nap (like a cat) any hour of the day, hours on end, days on end. Drugs probably didn't help the situation, but my feeling on it, the revelations I've had, is that it was trauma-based. The understanding came to me because of my own trauma and experience with severe PTSD. His started at a young age: being taken from his mother (and father), his mother's death, Stu's death, and on and on, plus being an outcast at school, being made to feel different, unloved, alone, punished, etc. I think it had a scarring effect on his psyche and sleep became a refuge, but also I believe he was healing in the 5D spiritual realm. Of course, we all know he wrote the song "I'm Only Sleeping" which centered more on the idea that he was escaping into a creative realm, and he was very creative, but there was so much more to it than that. He was healing.


If you go back to his mother's death, and I've spoken about this, Julia was accidentally killed by an off-duty police officer (who was under the influence), but they brushed it under the rug on purpose, taking the officer's side and leaving John and his step-father and step-sisters with no financial supplement or justice. They were robbed, John was robbed. Money couldn't bring her back, but accountability by the justice system could have done wonders, as well as the acknowledgement of what happened and that Julia was not in the wrong. It would have said her life mattered. And that would have said, John's life mattered. Then you go back to Alfred not paying support and taking the side of a man whom Julia said got her pregnant (she had to stay in a home and have the baby adopted out). So there was no justice. None. John lived with that his entire life. And of course, we know the end and how he was murdered. Where's the justice??


But anyway, going back, his sleeping pattern was most likely undiagnosed PTSD. Trauma. In this day and age we can talk about it, announce it, deal with it . . . back then, not so much. He escaped through sleep, did every available drug you can think of, and I think that were he alive today he'd be doing tapping, yoga, juicing, journaling (I think he did do a lot of that near the end, actually, and good for him). But the main thing is he'd talk about it. He'd put a voice to it.


So, no, John wasn't lazy. Maybe a little (I am). But mostly he was healing. And for any of you out there with a similar trauma/PTSD just know that you are not alone. Every day is a struggle, but you are loved and it's going be okay. Stay calm and listen to John. Peace.




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